One week before

Invite guests and ask directly about dietary restrictionsAsk "any allergies, restrictions, or strong dislikes?" in the invite. Vegetarians and the gluten-free won't always volunteer it, and finding out at the table is worse for everyone.
Plan the menu with a make-ahead biasAt most one dish that needs day-of attention. Braises, stews, and roasted vegetables improve overnight; save risotto and soufflé for a night when the audience is smaller.
Test any recipe you've never cookedThe party is not the night to debut a dish. If there's no time for a test run, swap in something you know cold.
Plan drinks: a bottle of wine per two guests, plus a real non-alcoholic optionA real option means something made with the same care as the wine — a good NA spritz or shrub — not plain sparkling water as an afterthought.
Count chairs, plates, glasses, cutlery, and serving dishesBorrowing on Tuesday is an errand; discovering you're two chairs short on Saturday at six is a crisis.

Two to three days before

Write one shopping list from the recipes, then buy everything sturdyEverything except fish, bread, and delicate herbs — those come the day before or day of.
Buy the wine and drinks
Make everything that keeps: dessert, sauces, dressings, soup
Clear the refrigeratorBe ruthless — you're about to need whole shelves for platters and make-ahead dishes.
Sketch a seating plan if guests dont all know each otherSplit couples, seat big talkers apart so there's a spark at both ends of the table, and put shy guests next to warm ones.

Cook the main make-ahead dishesThis is the party's real cooking day. A braise made today only needs reheating tomorrow — which is when you'll be glad.
Prep the vegetables, wash the greens, make the garnishesStore prepped and labeled, so day-of cooking is assembly.
Set the table tonightTwenty unhurried minutes now, and it surfaces the missing water pitcher while stores are still open.
Pick up flowers and keep the arrangement lowGuests should see each other over it, not lean around it.
Clean the bathroom and clear a spot for coatsThe two things guests actually notice. Nobody inspects the kitchen floor.

Write the timeline backward from sitting down, and tape it to a cabinetFor a 7:30 dinner: roast in at 5:15, out and resting at 7:00, sides into the vacated oven, guests seated 7:25. On paper — you will not do arithmetic gracefully at 6:50.
Finish all remaining cooking except reheating by two hours out
Chill the whites and set up a drinks station away from the stoveGuests cluster wherever the drinks are, so put them far from the kitchen. An ice-water bath chills a bottle in 20 minutes; the fridge takes two hours.
Set out appetizers that survive room temperatureNuts, olives, good cheese. They say "you're taken care of" the moment guests walk in and buy you 45 quiet minutes.
Empty the dishwasher and take out the trashThe mid-party stack of dirty plates needs somewhere to disappear to.

Change clothes and be guest-ready before anything elseThe doorbell always rings early, and it should find you dressed, not in an apron with wet hair.
Dim the lights, light the candles, start the playlistThree-plus hours of music at a volume people can talk over — queue it now so no one touches a phone at the table.
Fill the water glasses and open the reds
Do a ten-minute kitchen resetClear counters, one empty sink, dessert plates staged. Future-you, plating the main course, says thanks.
Pour yourself a drink and stop cookingWhatever isn't done becomes "rustic." Guests remember how the host made them feel, never whether the sauce reduced enough.